The experience of trauma is painful, disruptive, and destabilizing, and it can have far-reaching impacts on our bodies, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. But the story of how trauma affects us is not a universally grim or hopeless one. For many, the experience of trauma and coping with its aftereffects can be an impetus for growth, positive change, and increased purpose and connection in life.

Post-Traumatic Growth

Post-traumatic growth is a concept that was originally defined by Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun. According to the American Psychological Association, it refers to the reality that, “people who endure psychological struggle following adversity can often see positive growth afterward.” Tedeschi and Calhoun describe a number of ways that meaningful growth can occur after trauma. Below I outline what these are and how they can look in practice.

• Improved relationships – Trauma tends to show you who your real people are. People who have experienced trauma often feel a deeper closeness and intimacy in their relationships with the people who showed up to support them. Moreover, many who survive trauma discover a more profound sense of compassion and empathy for the suffering of others, which can also serve to enhance meaningful connection.

• Greater appreciation for life – Surviving something traumatic can give you the ability to differentiate that which really matters to you from that which doesn’t. Many survivors notice that they are more in touch with their values and able to appreciate the small things in life that maybe previously went unnoticed.

• New possibilities in life – Trauma interrupts the flow of everyday life. Though this is distressing in many ways, it can also be an opportunity to examine what is working for you and what is not. This examination can result in meaningful life changes, such as pursuing a new career path, discovering new hobbies or interests, or finding the willingness to change things that aren’t serving you.

• Recognition of personal strength – Surviving and rebuilding after a traumatic event can be affirmation for many of their inner strength, resilience, power, and capability. Tapping into these qualities can allow you to live with more peace and less fear, knowing that you can manage whatever life throws your way.

• Spiritual development – Trauma has a way of bringing us face to face with deeper questions about life and the human condition. In grappling with these questions, survivors of trauma can arrive at more evolved and satisfying views of the meaning and purpose of being human.

A Few Words of Caution

There are a couple of things to be mindful of when it comes to post-traumatic growth. First, as Tedeschi and Calhoun note, meaningful personal growth is also possible outside of the context of trauma. Acknowledging that post-traumatic growth is a possibility is not a way of saying that it is good that the trauma happened. Trauma is never to be wished for or desired, and in a perfect world nobody would have to endure it.

Second, post-traumatic growth is not a way of avoiding suffering or pain. The distress that people experience after trauma can be intense, and it can be tempting to try to distract from or avoid this pain by focusing on what you can learn or how you can grow from the experience instead. Post-traumatic growth, however, is not a substitute for experiencing emotion and struggle after trauma but rather a product of it. It is through engagement with the pain that the opportunity for growth emerges.

Access Your Own Capacity for Growth

The COVID-19 pandemic has been a time of collective trauma, with all of us experiencing losses big and small. These range from the death of loved ones to lost work or income to missing out on life occasions like graduations and weddings. Our current times beg the question of whether something good can come out of all of this suffering. For many, it already has. For example, people have left jobs or relationships that weren’t serving them or their happiness or rediscovered the joy in everyday experiences like spending time in person with a friend.

If you would like to see personal growth come out of this difficult time, what can you do? First, don’t rush yourself through the pain, stress, or other uncomfortable emotions that this pandemic has provoked for you. Acknowledge what you have lost, what these losses have brought up for you, and what it has been like to try to cope with them. For some, it might be helpful to process these losses in a deeper way through trauma therapy.

Only once you have really given yourself time to feel and process does it make sense to start to orient toward growth. This can look a number of ways. Maybe you let yourself share more deeply about what these last few years have been like for you with a trusted person in your life. Maybe you tap into gratitude for the experiences, routines, and possibilities that were taken from you temporarily by COVID. Maybe you examine your life more generally and allow yourself to make changes in areas that aren’t working for you. Or maybe you just give yourself credit for surviving in this unprecedented time and acknowledge the strength and courage it reflects that you didn’t give up.

Give yourself time and patience. Growth is often slow and non-linear and there is no need to rush yourself. If you would like some support on this journey and a person to help you recognize and celebrate your growth, contact me today to get started.